Strawberry panic: On crack
by Obsidian And Cobalt
Summary: Would you believe that this started as something serious? Random joke stuff I made up ages ago.
1. Crack

_**Disclaimer- I dont own Strawberry panic  
>Crack fucking Tastic!<br>**__**  
><strong>__**High as a kite  
><strong>_Yaya grinned as she crept up behind Nagisa. Sure, getting out of school to hang at the beach was cool, but it could get quite boring. It was her responsibility to liven things up, and get a good laugh in the process. Teasing Tsubomi did prove intertaining, but after an hour or so, it stopped being so funny, partically when she threatened to beat Yaya to death with a turtle.

Tamao wasn't up to much either, she had quite happily rubbed sunscreen on Nagisa's back, then she wondered of and Tamao had started to write poetry, smirking. [Which was how it appeared, in reality she was planning how to burn down the dorms and make it look like an accident.] No real surprise there. After the boredom had set in, Yaya had decided to take a walk as well.

So of course when she saw Nagisa in front of her, at the edge of a grassy cliff that overlooked the sea she felt the temptation. Who wouldn't? She looked round, they hadn't walked far from the beach, and nobody was behind them.

She couldn't resist the temptation, she snuck up behind Nagisa, who seemed completely oblivious to being snuck up on, to caught up in looking at the scenery. "Fly my pretty!" With that, and an evil cliche laugh, Yaya gave Nagisa a shove, sending her over the edge.

She looked over the edge, laughing as Nagisa screamed, before hitting the water. "Belly flop! That's gotta hurt!" She clutched her sides, before she heard rustling behind her. "We heard screaming, what's going on? Did you kill the sister, she's a bitch" Tsubomi panted, Tamao behind her who was nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, she's a perv! Why the Hell is she in the life guards chair with binoculars? Fucking Hell, if she didn't take my matches, I would totally torch the chair. With her in it!

"That was that whiny chick, I kinda shoved her and- oh fuck I think I killed her" Yaya groaned as she looked over the edge again, where Nagisa was splahing about, before she began to sink. "Damn it, we agreed we'd burn her!" Tamao hurried up beside her, looking down.

"Well excuse me if I was bored! Beside's how was I suppose to know that she couldn't-what is this? Mass suicide!" Yaya declared as Tamao wan dived of the cliff. "Is this really the time to be joking? I wanted to kill her with my turtle!" "Back of, me and Tamao are building a bonfire and she's going on it!"

"Get your sorry butt's to the beach!" Tamao yelled, swimming back to the beach with Nagisa on her back. "You heard her, move you sorry ass before I make turtle soup!" Yaya yelled, throwing a frying pan at Tsubomi's head.

"Not rodney!" With that, the pink haired chick sprinted of. In the wrong friggin way. "Wrong way dumbass!" "Well shit" she turned and ran of the cliff. Yaya shrugged and ghetto walked back to the beach.

"In the name of lesbians, what the fuck is going on?" Yaya stopped at the the top of the hill, where Tamao was throwing motive cocktails at the lifegurard chair. She rolled down the hill, cause walking was overrated. She cheered as the pervert sister caught on fire.

"What's going on with-" "Shut the fuck up noob" Yaya grunted as she punched Nagisa in the face, knocking her out. "Burn baby burn!" A bunch of rabid fangirls where singing and dancing around the burning life guard chair.

"Aw shit, that slag that ran of the cliff has my crack" "That's right bitch!" Yaya whirled round, where Tsubomi was standing, soaked and covered in sea weed. Tamao looked over from her place from lying on top of some random girl in the sand. And laughed her ass of.

"You look like you just got gang raped by the fishes!" "Rodney saved me!" She roared, throwing a semi-dead turtle at Tamao's head. Tamao jumped out of the way, and Rodney hit the random girl on the sand, there was a loud WTF BOOM! Moment, where some randomly placed shed and the slut in the sand blew up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Tsubomi wailed and passed out, where Yaya took her crack back. "Woah...you know what...we should totally take that ditz...and tie her to the moon..." "It's morning, you dunce" Tamao screamed, faceplanting the sand. "Fucking really? Well then, we'll throw her into mercury." "You and your gay astronomy club!"

"You can score in the storage closet" Yaya shot back. "OH...MY...GOD...YOUR HAIR IS FUCKING BLUE!" "Duhh" Tamao spat sand at her. "And that leprechaun has pink hair" "Woah...wait a minute! Wait one sexy- bikini wearing minute! If that ginger spaz and that blond chick that I raped before she ran of with that blue haired hermaphrodite are transfere students, why in the HELL do they have japanese names? This anime makes no sense!"

"Stop breaking the forth wall!" Tsubomi tried to backflip to her feet, then realised that she wasn't a ninja and fell on her ass. "Bitch please" Tamao threw a bottle of suncream at her. "Give me crack!" Tsubomi stood up, and jumped on top of Nagisa, knocking her out again before she woke up.

"Fine!" And with that- They all got high. When they went back Tamao burned down the school, Tsubomi stole another turtle and beat the etoile up for trying to rape her, Yaya raped the blond chick again, and Nagisa submitted to the yuri, and screws her roommate everynight.

R.I.P RODNEY D=  
>XD<p>

_**Lol wut? I was bored as Hell, I was sick of writing serious stuff XD  
>-That hyper girl in the corner<br>XP**_


	2. Acid

_**Disclaimer- I dont own Strawberry panic  
>And Ze randomness is back again X3 Enjoy ze druggy goodness!<br>Not as good as the other one -.-**_

_**Oh fuc-  
><strong>_It was an average day at Asterea hill. Well to the untrained eye. It looked like a simple, innocent, catholic girls school. But it was secretly just a place to screw and get high...and some bad ass acid had been realeased that day...will the sister stop everyone from taking it? Nope, she's to stoned...bugger.

"Who sold you the drugs!" The Teacher screamed, whacking her cane on the edge of the teachers desk as she glared at Tamao who in the back of class, doing a hand stand on the desk. "It was you, remember...you gave them to me for free...and told me to share...but you where off your ass."

"The same old shit every- Holy crack on a cracker, what the Hell is that!" Nagisa screamed, jumping outta her chair, proper rape face moment. "That's a wall dumbass" Tamao snapped,falling of the desk and bitch slapping Nagisa. "I think the real question is, what the FUCK is going on out there!" Yaya said as she lit a match, pointing out the door where the Sister was leading a naked conga line with the student council down the hall.

"I say we break out the stash!" Hikari declared, jumping on top of her desk. "Shut the fuck up noob!" With that, the teacher chucked her cane at her, sending her slow-mo flying backwards through a very conviently placed window.

"Actually...we should..." Tsubomi muttered as she threw a chair out the window after Hikari, whacking Amane who was body-grinding her horse. "Olay!" "You can barely speak french but you can speak spanish?" Tamao screamed, face planting her desk. "What the hell are you on!" "I just tripped some major acid..." Nagisa trailed of, falling over and screaming something about goldfish stuck to toast suspened from the ceiling.

"Fuck this shit, I need a new job" Their teacher curled up under her desk, before giving up and rolling out the door, following the conga line. "I've lost the will to live, she doesn't even know what the fucks going on half the time!" "Yes, we all know that ginger's a twit! We're building a bonfire tomorrow and she's going on it" Yaya informed, wondering why the rest of the class had gone, before noticing that they where having a dance party in the parking lot. Naked dance party's are awesome.

With that, they broke out the acid. The stuff that they nicked from the sisters desk...oh shit. "Why...do I see...a mother fucking dragon on a bike...going down a hill backwards?" Tsubomi asked slowly. "Why are you on the ceiling?" Yaya muttered as she watched Tamao trying to set the air on fire. "It wont light..." "That's cause you need to drop the match on Nagisa...actually fuck her...drop it on that wardrobe over there...It's looking at me funny" "Im still awake you know" Nagisa murmured, trying to get up and getting owned in the process.

"Dude...you just got tripped up by a friggin jellyfish" Tamao snickered. "I dont care! I am ginger and proud!" "Your not ginger you fruit...your like...I dont know but you look like your spazzing out..." "Says the one who's twitching on the floor" Yaya grunted, looking at Tsubomi who was lying on the ground.

"We should totally...like dude...theres like a dolphin on that wall, like waving to me..." "Oh yeah..." Tamao looked blankly at the pair who where talking about random shiz before kicking Nagisa in the ribs.

"What the fuck was that for?" "For living!" While Nagisa lay wailing on the ground like a spaz, there was smoke in the air...and not just from the spliffs. "Oh shit...we're gonna burn..." Yaya muttered. "Fire is good" Tamao stated flatly, falling over. Twice. Over a desk. Then a chair. Then through a window.

"Stop deviding by zero! You fell over like five times, the fucking author cant count!" Tsubomi screamed, face palming. "Stop breaking the forth wall!" Hours passed...some made out, others where just lying on the floor.

"WAIT a minute...wrong chick..." Yaya groaned as the smoke cleared, showing that she had Nagisa while Tamao had Tsubomi. "Aw fuck it...I can't be assed swapping...lets just call swapsies. I'll give her back in the morning.

_**I was in the sun working today. My last one was still better though...D=  
>-NOM<br>X3**_


	3. Moonshine

_**Disclaimer- I dont own Strawberry panic  
>Thanks to <strong>__**Chrissy the lovelorn stranger**__** for the inspiration =] Now im back, with a whacked out sequel to *drum roll* the crack-tastic-ness! =D**_

_**The crack is back XP  
><strong>_Some were puking, and others were on the verge of face planting the dirt. Then, there was that few who were in the middle of doing both, holding down there lunches and stumbling about, doing random shit...and this is all that could be remembered from that...party, how long was it? A day...or possibly six...

It all started when Tsubomi somehow got her hands on some cheap ass moonshine. "It was going for free on the black market...something about the shipment being tainted with anti-freeze...don't know, don't give a singing walrus."

Things were good, well, besides from the moonshine having a slightly numbing after taste...

"Wait! I need to know...if someone with multiple personalitys says they're gonna commit suicide, does that count as a hostage situation?"

"No, I gotta know! Why the fuck haven't I burned you yet? You're crap in bed and your voice is raping my ears...where's my lighter!" With that, Tamao rugby tackled Nagisa, and- in a burst of moonshine anti-freeze epic super strength- threw her through a window.

It was all good..until she somehow boomeranged through another window and landed in the sisters office.

"Falcon puuunnnnccchhh!" The sister was clealry pissed. Yaya looked down at Nagisa as she slid slowly back up the hallway, before cracking her head against a wall.

"How she's still alive? Shouldn't she have brain damage by now?"

"I thought you needed brain cells for that," Tsubomi downed the rest of her bottle, before chucking it behind her...smacking the by-passing Hikari upside the head and knocking her down the stairs...Lol.

"The talking chair makes a good point...and im tripping..." Tamao slowly fell against a wall, drawing on pictochat from some DS that spontaneously appeared in her hand, where Nagisa finally got of her lazy ass and stood up.

"I hate you all! You can all sit on a cactus and rotate!" Then she combusted and dived through the already smashed window. Not a swan dive though, she was to stupid for that olympic shit.

"She just done me the biggest favour of my life..." Yaya didn't get to finish her sentence, because she was to busy watching Tamao set passing first year's clothes on fire...rendering them all naked...Fuck yeah...

"I've got some bread BIATCH! MWAHAHAHAHHAHA" some randomer...possibly Chiyo began to epicly sword fight Kagome with a baguette, while the other chick used her teddy bear...which secretly had a concealed blade...

Ten crates of moonshine later, they were in the sister's study. Yaya was stroking a dictonary, while spinning in the spinny chair, saying;

"I've been expecting you...Mrs stipper..."

Tamao was busy building a indoor camp fire with the past test results, Nagisa was extra crispy at this point, but still needed a little longer. Hikari was on a horse she nicked, Chiyo was knifed, Kagome was victorious and Tsubomi was stripping, while slathering herself in moonshine...

**Time skips, fuck yeah!**

Three hours later, Nagisa had finally went out, half the school was burnt down [well fucking done, Tamao] Tsubomi and Yaya may have screwed...it was hard to tell, after the bookshelf collasped on them, and the sister was found inpaled on a weather vane.

_**God dammit! No matter what I do, it's never as good as the original...Meh, reviews are good..now I need to watch a movie and stuff my face with sweets and chocolate XP  
>-Cobalt<br>X3**_


End file.
